Dear New Mom,

Congratulations on your bundle of joy. Your life as you’ve known it has just changed. What ever you are feeling it’s normal. If you fell in love with your baby the second you laid eyes on it…that’s normal. If you questioned how this little person that has lived inside of you could seem like such a stranger…it’s normal. None of it is normal by the grand scheme of the word but trust me it’s all normal in motherhood. For the next few months your body will be a stranger. If you are breastfeeding your body won’t even belong to you for the next year or so but it’s worth it. You won’t get much sleep but you will amaze people with how much you accomplish on no sleep. One day you will actually get 6 hours of consecutive sleep and feel like a million bucks. Then you will blink and your little precious is a year old and mobile. That is a whole new kind of fun. Enjoy this moment and the next one and when you are so tired you feel like you can’t function remember that this is only a moment in time and in the next moment it will all be different.

Opposing Forces Collide

I watched her come undone

I couldn’t stop it

I listened carefully as it all became jumbled

I couldn’t understand it

I was angry

She was missing

I fought for her

We screamed

We hurled secrets at each other in front of the family

It was ugly

I threw her keys in the pitch-black back yard so she couldn’t leave

She was mad

It wasn’t the first time and it wasn’t the last

My heart ached for her when she was not well

I needed her then

She is bipolar

Just like the Earth…One up one down

Some ups

Some downs

She has gained control of it

Through a lot of work

Occasionally she tilts on her own axis but only to rebalance again

She is not broken

We have survived many things

This is no different

I have her now

She is not perfect but she is beautiful

She is mine

God gave her to me 

Bitey, The Elephant

When our sweet little boy started getting teeth he, like many children, also began figuring out how to use those teeth.  He would test them on everything, toys, books, furniture, dog tail and occasionally, us, his loving family.  In and effort to not raise a cannibal I assigned a corduroy elephant as the toy to bite.   Anytime he started to bite we would grab the little elephant and say things like, “Don’t bite Momma, it hurts!  Bite the elephant,” while sticking the elephant’s trunk in his mouth to practice his teeth gnashing on.  Soon his big sister caught on and named the elephant Bitey after a character in one of her books. 

Apparently the use of Bitey the elephant has made quite and impact.  The other evening we were all relaxing in the family room.  My husband was stretched out in the LazyBoy and our daughter had thrown a blanket over his feet making a hideout beneath them.  The cat had gone under there to hide and pretty soon I saw Colton join her.  I didn’t think much of it at the time but pretty soon Colton took off across the room toward his toy box muttering No, No, No, as he went.  He grabbed the Elephant and turned around and headed back to the hideout saying Bitey, Bitey, Bitey and handed the elephant to the cat. 

Now, I have no proof but I’m pretty sure that while they were playing the cat bit him.  Colton knows that if you feel like biting you need Bitey the elephant!

Memories of Aunt Kathleen's

White hexagon tiles brought to life with our crayons

as we colored the bathroom floor

Creativity

Orange and yellow plastic playhouse covered in mud

after making mud pies all day

Freedom

Taking turns eating cherries from the bag

on the rope swing

Yum

The warmth of the summer sun on our bodies as we played

outside all day

Cousins

Quiet

The house is still.  Too quiet.  Not long ago the air was filled with the pounding feet of naked babies running through the house and delighted shrieks as Momma chased them into the awaiting arms of Daddy who plunked them into the tub.  Laughter and splashes, water everywhere. 

Extraction is just as difficult as submersion. 

Legs flailing. 

Slippery bodies wrapped in hooded towels. 

Tiny toothbrushes clean tiny teeth.

Wiggly legs and arms expertly inserted into P.J.’s, less they escape and the chase is on. 

Wobbies and Ba (pacifier to some), sippy cups and favorite toys as we cuddle up to read bedtime stories. 

Music on

Sweet kisses

Heavy eyelids close

Goodnight, sweet dreams

My darlings.

The Iron

My son is at the stage where he latches on to something and that is only thing he wants.  Usually it's things like a ball, a whisk or a huge wooden spoon, but today it was the iron.  It wasn’t hot.  I had used it early in the morning to iron sisters uniform and had it out on the counter to cool off, when he spotted it. 

When he awoke from his nap I wen tot get him and took him into the kitchen to get some milk when he spied it and it was love at first sight.  Oh the iron wasn’t the first appliance he set his sights on, usually it’s the crockpot or the toaster but today was different.  The iron was out.  He made his request known by leaning out of my arms toward the counter.  I set him down so as not to drop him and quickly ran through all the reasons a 21 month old child should NOT play with he iron.  As I thought he grew louder and more insistent.  I caved!  What would it hurt?  I would just have to take extra care when using the iron.  Besides his love interest don’t last too long especially when they are too heavy to tote around.  I gave it to him.  Delight he hauled it to the couch where he proceeded to iron the cushions.  Soon it was time to get sister from school.  We live across the street from the Elementary school so I just plop him in the stroller and walk to get her.  Today he insisted on taking his friend!  There he sat happy as a clam, holding tight to the iron.  We paraded it to all the parents, teachers and students at pick-up.  Yes, I let my baby play with the iron.  Mother of the year here I come!

I Am From....

I am from my Momma’s homemade chocolate chip cookies

Green beans from a can (swallowed whole while holding my nose)

The smell of Pin-Sol filling the house on Saturday mornings

Neon green gum strung from the window to taillight of Daddy’s black truck

Click click click of sockets ratcheting

Country music playing low on the radio, with the cool concrete of the garage under my bare toes.

Riding the floor jack, up, up, up, d o w n, up, up, up, d o w n….

Dirty feet and the smell of DEET

Quiet early morning horseback rides with Grandpa

Hold on tight three-wheeler rides down country roads

Fireflies, fireworks, family picnics

Millions of stars peering down from the black night as we lie on our backs in the middle of the trampoline listening to the lullaby of the locusts and the coyote howls

Soles of her feet against the soles of mine in the cool crisp sheets of Grandmas feather bed

Constant “I love you’s”

Place settings and manners

Rules and things done just so

Grandmother’s chocolate pie

Ice cream dripping from our chins

Sharing garlic cheese toast with Granddad before school

The light that danced in his eyes each time he saw us

His Miss America’s

I am from God

love everlasting

and a crazy wonderful family